Outgrow your bowl!

Image by kellyandapril via FlickrHave you ever limited yourself? Put yourself in a box - a place that is safe and hard for you to fail? It is so easy to be afraid of potential or even success, without realizing it. We figure "if I don't speak then no one can disagree with me, if I don't act (out what I feel) no one can react." We actually become scared of something good.

I can't help but think of a goldfish. Did you know that they only grow to the limitations of their environment? Now salt water fish are a different story but fresh water fish actually grow based on their living conditions. How many times have you heard a person, usually a Christian, say "I feel like I live in a fish bowl?" What is interesting to me is that these people sometimes (not always) never out grow their bowl. They get so wrapped up in maintaining their "(Christlike) image," that they forget to grow. They/We end up limiting ourselves to our circumstances aka our "environment!"

How do I know? Because I've been "that fish," the one too afraid to outgrow my surroundings. I have at times limited myself to the expectations of others rather than breaking free with the calling that is on my life. Sure it is easy to sit on a pretty table in a quaint bowl with guaranteed meals, but why not JUMP OUT! Like the part in "Finding Nemo," those fish were crazy. But they knew that there was more to life. I don't mean live like no one is watching, unaware of your witness, but stop restricting yourself from prosperity. Don't get stuck in who you think you should be. Be who you are called to be. Outgrow your bowl! JUMP OUT!

Taking my piece of peace!

Do you ever need to escape, to feel like it is okay to laugh as loud as you want or cry as much as you want to? I don’t know about you, but I live with two roommates so those things are not really promoted at my house, the neighbors might hear. So I decided a long time ago that I wanted that special place- “away from the world-” where it is just me, my maker, and praise music.
I live on an island outside of downtown Tampa, FL. There is one locale on the island where you can see the exquisite views of the calm water then look over your shoulder and see the constant chaos of the downtown hustle, this is my special spot. I love to stare at the water and watch the makeshift lighthouse that occasionally catches my car with its beams, then admire all the lights of the city. This spot is very similar to life. As each day passes we face different situations that can seem chaotic and out of control. Many times people would assume that if everything were failing around us then we must be falling a part on the inside-and that is not always true. When I looked up the meaning of “peace” in the dictionary, I found many different definitions, but the one most relevant to me was “a treaty.” A treaty is normally put into place after two entities essentially agree to disagree; they meet in the middle-they find their “spot,” they agree to “peace.” Alike to my place in the middle of chaos and tranquility-That is where I find spiritual peace. Would you ever think that in the midst of discord between oneself and the world that you can find peace, knowing that God is in the middle keeping it all together? True peace comes when we are whole, completely surrendered to the call of the Lord. No matter if you are at war with your circumstances or the events in the world-Remember to take a piece of peace.
So, do you have a spot? A spot reserved for just you and your maker? He desires to meet you where you are at, to make you complete. It’s time to be still and feel the presence of God that is always with us, yet we so often don’t take the time to acknowledge. I would love to hear about your special spot, where do you go?

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you. — John 14:27.

A lifestlyle of praise

Image by cobalt123 via Flickr
Have you ever noticed that it seems like “palms” are in a constant state of worship? They are connected to a base, face down, yet each one of them has it’s own place, purpose and direction. If you look closely, it looks as if each of them is reaching towards the sun, yet so humbled that their tips dance gracefully in the wind. This dance is never the same, nor is it choreographed. I wonder if that is why they used palms on “Palm Sunday,” because the palms already look like they are in a lifestyle of praise? (Matthew 21:1-11, Mark 11:1-11, Luke 19:28-44, John 12:12-19) When Jesus arrived on the donkey, the people that were praising Him just added to what nature had already started. How differently would life look for us if we were constantly in a state of praise? Would we be so abrasive? Would we be more loving? The palms know that if they do not reach toward heaven that they will not grow. It is important that we stay rooted in the word, yet acknowledge the freedom we have in Jesus to dance in the wind…to praise Him!

Live life in a state of constant worship and thank God for His simple reminders that show us how!

Rendered Heart,
Christina

Simply Reset

Image via WikipediaShortly after my ex-husband (we'll refer to him as "Caleb") and I separated and I was informed of his secret lifestyle, I made a decision. A decision to try and move on the best way I knew how. One of the steps that I took in this process was taking apart my engagement ring. Not everyone agreed with it, but this was my recovery not theirs.

One thing that the ring signified to me was "sacrifice." Caleb sold his guitar to buy my engagement ring. The guitar was signed by Les Paul(we always called it his "Louden") and was the same guitar that the praise song "Sanctuary" was written on. So needless to say, it was hard for him to give it up.

Secondly, it reminded me of ministry. Caleb and I talked about me learning to play the guitar. We knew that expressing my heart would be easier if I could play an instrument. So in thinking ahead, Caleb had them make the bottom of my ring flat so that it would not spin when I was playing the guitar.

The third thing this ring signified to me was "beauty." How can anyone look at a sparkling prism-filled diamond and not see beauty? And also find beauty in why they received the ring - as a symbol of what had been brought together.

The fourth thing it represented to me was "forever." I know that must sound crazy because it was just my engagement ring, however, it sat in between my two wedding bands almost like protection. There were three rings all together that reminded me that God like my engagement ring sat in the middle and sustained Caleb and I on both sides.

The ring looks very different to me now. Caleb is not here to express his sacrifice, I never learned to play the guitar and my ministry came to a screeching halt about six months after Caleb and I got married. And yes… God is still there but only one of us acknowledges His presence.

Now the three rings are scattered in my jewelry box, much like our lives, separated. The engagement ring (also known as the center ring) has the center stone popped out. Now your eyes are drawn directly to empty prongs that tend to poke you if you are not careful. The prongs that once elevated so much beauty are now bare - because the diamond has been moved to shine elsewhere.

I'd like to think that my life is the same way. That even though I may be separate from my four prongs called "familiar" - God can still use me.

I have since reset that stone into a necklace. It now serves a new purpose and obtains a new found beauty. I pray God will continue to reveal the "new found me." It is easy at times to believe that when something like divorce happens to us it is almost like the end of the road, rather than us looking at it as a new road. Any girl can tell you that a diamond always has a purpose - and as children of God we have an even bigger purpose. So I rejoice today with you because I am "simply reset." I am in a new place with a new purpose.

Psalm 45:11 The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your Lord.

Discoveries

I can't believe that 2008 is over. It's funny because I think that I was so eager to start a new year, I failed to notice how fast the last one went by. 2008 has taught me so many different things. Things about life, love, family and friends-the list go on.

The one major lesson that I learned about "life" this year is that "no matter how much you plan, life is still gonna happen." For type "B" personalities, this discovery is no big deal, in fact it may even be a relief. However, for the type "A's" of the world, like my self, let's just say it hurts a little to hold on to. Or should I say, "let go?" I think that for the longest time I thought that I could plan the perfect life and "pray" it into existence. I quite possibly took that whole Jeremiah 29:11 verse a little too far! That part about "not to harm you…" It doesn't mean that you won't get hurt… which brings me to "Love."

I have learned that "no matter how much you love someone, even if they are not who you thought they were, that does not mean that you stop loving all together!" Whoo, I know that could possibly be a trailing thought, but I had to say it all at once. Some of you may or may not know that I went through an "annulment" this year (aka divorce.) My ex-husband decided that he wanted to pursue an "alternative lifestyle" that left no room for me or Jesus for that matter. God has shown me through the lies and deception that I am still called to love, no matter what. In fact, I have already lost so much; to lose love would be tragic! That brings me to "family."

"Family will always be family!" In the midst of the events that have gone on in my life over the last year, they have all stood the closest, the strongest and the tallest-prepared for anything! I must say nothing surprises us anymore. It is funny because no matter how hard you may try to get rid of them sometimes, they might even end up moving in with you-Billy ☺ ahah, I love ya! We all have our moments, but at the end of the day, God knit us together for a reason! Better love your family, because mine is already taken!

Lastly, that brings me to "Friends." I think that friends are God's "breathing blessings" on earth. I can honestly say that the friends that I have made over the last year are life long! I wish that I could name every person that has poured into my life, but I would definitely end up leaving someone out! So- I extend my thanks to all of you! Thank you so much for allowing me to be a part of your lives and being a part of mine. Even those of you whom I have never met, that read this blog- you inspire me to keep on writing, to keep on growing and I thank you for that! You may never know how much it means to me that you take precious time to hear my heart on paper!

I pray that each of you will "have a divine 2009."

Closing remarks…
Remember, "Even though bad things happen, that does not mean life is bad!" And for my last bit of "2 cents." Remember that our events in life do not define our existence, however, how we respond to those things, does- our reactions reveal our heart and the core of who we really are!

Be Blessed!

Rendered Heart,
Christina

Dead men walking....

Spiritual Deaths

John 9:33-41 (Spiritual Blindness)
VS. 41
Jesus said,” If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now that you claim you can see, your guilt remains.”

Last night I sang at a church in Dunedin. It was funny, we actually had a hard time finding it because it was located in what used to be a bar…. We like unconventional! After a quick sound check and a short brief with the pastor, they began the service. As I normally always do to “get in the zone,” I went outside to get my thoughts together. Any speaker/pastor will tell you that they like to have a general idea of what they want to speak on before they go up. So I began praying and rehearsing different points that I wanted to bring out about the “New Year” and how I was looking forward to it. Well any pastor/speaker will also tell you that there are times when the Holy Spirit steps in and kind of “re-directs” if you will. God did one of those RD’s last night.

I am not sure if I have even ever referenced a “spiritual death” in my life, but I sure did last night! (In an overview of the events of 2008.) This last year has presented many valleys for me. In fact, I joke that I cried more in the past year than the 22 years prior - combined! I think that the most discouraging event was watching someone who was very close to me turn away from God. For some reason, I felt compelled to share this last night - it feels like a death to me. I know, and you know how much joy we find in the Lord and then to witness someone who has experienced joy, glory and the presence of God-to watch them walk away is as if they would rather die, than have life!

To some of you, this may seem dramatic, but to others of you, you may know what it feels like. I feel like I mourn for someone that is a “dead man walking.” I observe what is left of his soul and it is sad. He has tried so hard to break that covenant with God that he is walking around with a sense of “torn flesh” and a wounded spirit. A wise pastor once told me that “hurt people, hurt people.” And he has been very successful at not only hurting others but himself as well!

I say all of this to say that death is death, no matter which forms it takes. No matter if someone chooses to live in the darkness or happens to live in a casket. But the beauty of them not already being “however many feet under,” is that there is still a chance for them to experience “truly living!”

I encourage all of you, no matter if you know someone that has experienced grace, or someone that cannot even seem to wrap their brain or heart around it…Keep Praying! We may be the only ones that show them God’s love and promises! I pray that 2009 is a year of true visibility!

I praise you God for restoration and “re-directions!”

Rendered Heart,
Christina

Change, are you ready?

I do not know too many people that embrace change, that embrace new ideas, different lifestyles other than their own-and so on. But there is a certain beauty that comes with change-it’s called growth. How can anyone grow without change? A seed cannot grow if it stays within the comforts of its bag that it was purchased in… Then, think about what that seed has to go through to become anything. It must break from within, and penetrate its walls of safety. Then it must endure its lonely journey to the surface. You would think that the worst of it would be over, but its not. After it reaches you and I, it must survive rain, sun, snow heavy feet and careless animals-the list goes on. But think about the tree that survives. Think about the mighty oak tree in your minds eye-It is strong, sturdy, and able to withstand almost anything. But why? Because of constant change and growth, that tree is now a source of shade, food, oxygen and a beautiful image on God’s canvas.

I would love to stay within my “little bag” and not be forced to penetrate the walls of which I refer to as “safety.” I would sometimes rather watch nature happen, instead of be a part of it. But today is a new day, A day meant to be different than yesterday and thankfully God does not expect me to do it my by myself. Today is meant for me to dig deep within my inner being and allow God to nurture my own growth. To rid myself of distractions and anything else that could interfere with that process. This is a time for me to renew who I am in Christ, a time for rediscovery, a time for pruning, a time for CHANGE….

……………..………………………Transformation is on the horizon!


Live out loud,

Christina