Simply Reset

Image via WikipediaShortly after my ex-husband (we'll refer to him as "Caleb") and I separated and I was informed of his secret lifestyle, I made a decision. A decision to try and move on the best way I knew how. One of the steps that I took in this process was taking apart my engagement ring. Not everyone agreed with it, but this was my recovery not theirs.

One thing that the ring signified to me was "sacrifice." Caleb sold his guitar to buy my engagement ring. The guitar was signed by Les Paul(we always called it his "Louden") and was the same guitar that the praise song "Sanctuary" was written on. So needless to say, it was hard for him to give it up.

Secondly, it reminded me of ministry. Caleb and I talked about me learning to play the guitar. We knew that expressing my heart would be easier if I could play an instrument. So in thinking ahead, Caleb had them make the bottom of my ring flat so that it would not spin when I was playing the guitar.

The third thing this ring signified to me was "beauty." How can anyone look at a sparkling prism-filled diamond and not see beauty? And also find beauty in why they received the ring - as a symbol of what had been brought together.

The fourth thing it represented to me was "forever." I know that must sound crazy because it was just my engagement ring, however, it sat in between my two wedding bands almost like protection. There were three rings all together that reminded me that God like my engagement ring sat in the middle and sustained Caleb and I on both sides.

The ring looks very different to me now. Caleb is not here to express his sacrifice, I never learned to play the guitar and my ministry came to a screeching halt about six months after Caleb and I got married. And yes… God is still there but only one of us acknowledges His presence.

Now the three rings are scattered in my jewelry box, much like our lives, separated. The engagement ring (also known as the center ring) has the center stone popped out. Now your eyes are drawn directly to empty prongs that tend to poke you if you are not careful. The prongs that once elevated so much beauty are now bare - because the diamond has been moved to shine elsewhere.

I'd like to think that my life is the same way. That even though I may be separate from my four prongs called "familiar" - God can still use me.

I have since reset that stone into a necklace. It now serves a new purpose and obtains a new found beauty. I pray God will continue to reveal the "new found me." It is easy at times to believe that when something like divorce happens to us it is almost like the end of the road, rather than us looking at it as a new road. Any girl can tell you that a diamond always has a purpose - and as children of God we have an even bigger purpose. So I rejoice today with you because I am "simply reset." I am in a new place with a new purpose.

Psalm 45:11 The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your Lord.

Discoveries

I can't believe that 2008 is over. It's funny because I think that I was so eager to start a new year, I failed to notice how fast the last one went by. 2008 has taught me so many different things. Things about life, love, family and friends-the list go on.

The one major lesson that I learned about "life" this year is that "no matter how much you plan, life is still gonna happen." For type "B" personalities, this discovery is no big deal, in fact it may even be a relief. However, for the type "A's" of the world, like my self, let's just say it hurts a little to hold on to. Or should I say, "let go?" I think that for the longest time I thought that I could plan the perfect life and "pray" it into existence. I quite possibly took that whole Jeremiah 29:11 verse a little too far! That part about "not to harm you…" It doesn't mean that you won't get hurt… which brings me to "Love."

I have learned that "no matter how much you love someone, even if they are not who you thought they were, that does not mean that you stop loving all together!" Whoo, I know that could possibly be a trailing thought, but I had to say it all at once. Some of you may or may not know that I went through an "annulment" this year (aka divorce.) My ex-husband decided that he wanted to pursue an "alternative lifestyle" that left no room for me or Jesus for that matter. God has shown me through the lies and deception that I am still called to love, no matter what. In fact, I have already lost so much; to lose love would be tragic! That brings me to "family."

"Family will always be family!" In the midst of the events that have gone on in my life over the last year, they have all stood the closest, the strongest and the tallest-prepared for anything! I must say nothing surprises us anymore. It is funny because no matter how hard you may try to get rid of them sometimes, they might even end up moving in with you-Billy ☺ ahah, I love ya! We all have our moments, but at the end of the day, God knit us together for a reason! Better love your family, because mine is already taken!

Lastly, that brings me to "Friends." I think that friends are God's "breathing blessings" on earth. I can honestly say that the friends that I have made over the last year are life long! I wish that I could name every person that has poured into my life, but I would definitely end up leaving someone out! So- I extend my thanks to all of you! Thank you so much for allowing me to be a part of your lives and being a part of mine. Even those of you whom I have never met, that read this blog- you inspire me to keep on writing, to keep on growing and I thank you for that! You may never know how much it means to me that you take precious time to hear my heart on paper!

I pray that each of you will "have a divine 2009."

Closing remarks…
Remember, "Even though bad things happen, that does not mean life is bad!" And for my last bit of "2 cents." Remember that our events in life do not define our existence, however, how we respond to those things, does- our reactions reveal our heart and the core of who we really are!

Be Blessed!

Rendered Heart,
Christina