Discoveries

I can't believe that 2008 is over. It's funny because I think that I was so eager to start a new year, I failed to notice how fast the last one went by. 2008 has taught me so many different things. Things about life, love, family and friends-the list go on.

The one major lesson that I learned about "life" this year is that "no matter how much you plan, life is still gonna happen." For type "B" personalities, this discovery is no big deal, in fact it may even be a relief. However, for the type "A's" of the world, like my self, let's just say it hurts a little to hold on to. Or should I say, "let go?" I think that for the longest time I thought that I could plan the perfect life and "pray" it into existence. I quite possibly took that whole Jeremiah 29:11 verse a little too far! That part about "not to harm you…" It doesn't mean that you won't get hurt… which brings me to "Love."

I have learned that "no matter how much you love someone, even if they are not who you thought they were, that does not mean that you stop loving all together!" Whoo, I know that could possibly be a trailing thought, but I had to say it all at once. Some of you may or may not know that I went through an "annulment" this year (aka divorce.) My ex-husband decided that he wanted to pursue an "alternative lifestyle" that left no room for me or Jesus for that matter. God has shown me through the lies and deception that I am still called to love, no matter what. In fact, I have already lost so much; to lose love would be tragic! That brings me to "family."

"Family will always be family!" In the midst of the events that have gone on in my life over the last year, they have all stood the closest, the strongest and the tallest-prepared for anything! I must say nothing surprises us anymore. It is funny because no matter how hard you may try to get rid of them sometimes, they might even end up moving in with you-Billy ☺ ahah, I love ya! We all have our moments, but at the end of the day, God knit us together for a reason! Better love your family, because mine is already taken!

Lastly, that brings me to "Friends." I think that friends are God's "breathing blessings" on earth. I can honestly say that the friends that I have made over the last year are life long! I wish that I could name every person that has poured into my life, but I would definitely end up leaving someone out! So- I extend my thanks to all of you! Thank you so much for allowing me to be a part of your lives and being a part of mine. Even those of you whom I have never met, that read this blog- you inspire me to keep on writing, to keep on growing and I thank you for that! You may never know how much it means to me that you take precious time to hear my heart on paper!

I pray that each of you will "have a divine 2009."

Closing remarks…
Remember, "Even though bad things happen, that does not mean life is bad!" And for my last bit of "2 cents." Remember that our events in life do not define our existence, however, how we respond to those things, does- our reactions reveal our heart and the core of who we really are!

Be Blessed!

Rendered Heart,
Christina

Dead men walking....

Spiritual Deaths

John 9:33-41 (Spiritual Blindness)
VS. 41
Jesus said,” If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now that you claim you can see, your guilt remains.”

Last night I sang at a church in Dunedin. It was funny, we actually had a hard time finding it because it was located in what used to be a bar…. We like unconventional! After a quick sound check and a short brief with the pastor, they began the service. As I normally always do to “get in the zone,” I went outside to get my thoughts together. Any speaker/pastor will tell you that they like to have a general idea of what they want to speak on before they go up. So I began praying and rehearsing different points that I wanted to bring out about the “New Year” and how I was looking forward to it. Well any pastor/speaker will also tell you that there are times when the Holy Spirit steps in and kind of “re-directs” if you will. God did one of those RD’s last night.

I am not sure if I have even ever referenced a “spiritual death” in my life, but I sure did last night! (In an overview of the events of 2008.) This last year has presented many valleys for me. In fact, I joke that I cried more in the past year than the 22 years prior - combined! I think that the most discouraging event was watching someone who was very close to me turn away from God. For some reason, I felt compelled to share this last night - it feels like a death to me. I know, and you know how much joy we find in the Lord and then to witness someone who has experienced joy, glory and the presence of God-to watch them walk away is as if they would rather die, than have life!

To some of you, this may seem dramatic, but to others of you, you may know what it feels like. I feel like I mourn for someone that is a “dead man walking.” I observe what is left of his soul and it is sad. He has tried so hard to break that covenant with God that he is walking around with a sense of “torn flesh” and a wounded spirit. A wise pastor once told me that “hurt people, hurt people.” And he has been very successful at not only hurting others but himself as well!

I say all of this to say that death is death, no matter which forms it takes. No matter if someone chooses to live in the darkness or happens to live in a casket. But the beauty of them not already being “however many feet under,” is that there is still a chance for them to experience “truly living!”

I encourage all of you, no matter if you know someone that has experienced grace, or someone that cannot even seem to wrap their brain or heart around it…Keep Praying! We may be the only ones that show them God’s love and promises! I pray that 2009 is a year of true visibility!

I praise you God for restoration and “re-directions!”

Rendered Heart,
Christina