Why is it so difficult to surrender? There is a song by “Barlow girl,” that I think describes a recent season in my life:
“Surrender"
My hands hold safely to my dreams
Clutching tightly not one has fallen
So many years I've shaped each one
Reflecting my heart showing who I am
Now you're asking me to show
What I'm holding oh so tightly
Can't open my hands can't let go
Does it matter?
Should I show you?
Can't you let me go?
Surrender, surrender you whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can't you see?
My dreams are me. My dreams are me
You say you have a plan for me
And that you want the best for my life
Told me the world had yet to see
What you can do with one
That's committed to Your calling
I know of course what I should do
That I can't hold these dreams forever
If I give them now to You
Will You take them away forever?
Or can I dream again?
Surrender, surrender you whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can't you see?
My dreams are me. My dreams are me
Here recently, I really feel like God is calling me to more “full time” ministry opportunities- I have wrestled with this for the longest time but I realize that I have been HOLDING on to my security, a guaranteed paycheck, less faith, the list goes on. That is not to say that a "guaranteed paycheck" is a bad thing, in fact most of my friends have them, however I know that God has called me to something different. My calling is no more important than any other working piece of the body of Christ, just unique-the way that it should be. What I failed to realize until recently, was that why I was busy “clutching tightly” to those things, my hands and my heart were CLOSED off to what God wanted for my life, instead of open and ready to receive what He had/has for me!
A few weeks ago, I let go; I have to be honest-I was/am scared to death…However I know that there is freedom in letting go and letting God… I pray that my hands and heart will no longer hold on to what I want, but rather be open and ready for what God sees fit! Ever since that day, God has sent daily confirmations that this is what He wants. I know that it will not be easy, however I would rather be in His will rather than in His way!
Just remember that God took time to knit you together in your mother’s womb, and He has a special plan for your life. He even artistically designed your hands and your heart to fit you and only you-just like your calling. I encourage you, unclench your fists and get ready for God to shape new dreams within you!
Psalm 139:13-14 (New International Version)
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
What are you holding on to?
Surrendering with His help,
Rendered Heart
